Jess Reiche


Why I (in)RL alone

I can answer the question “Why do you (in)RL alone?” in 4 words: BECAUSE I HAVE TO.


I’m a bit of an introvert, but that’s not the reason.

I’m a bit of a control freak host, but that’s not the reason.

I’m a bit of a homebody, but that’s not the reason.

I usually don’t have much space to host, but that’s not the reason.

I have 2 little kids, but that’s not the reason.


The reason? I literally cannot find people my people.

The people who blog. The people who will take time away to experience this conference. The people who read (in)courage. The people who will leave their families on the weekend and trust me how awesome (in)RL is.

I know I have people reading this who probably would come except….

And that’s the problem.

Everyone always comforts their comfort zone with an excuse that won’t get challenged.


But the truth is, I don’t always (in)RL alone.

Year 1 an old friend of mine came over Friday night to watch the opening with me and we had a blast. That Saturday my husband watched with me because I didn’t have anyone to watch with. He amazes me sometimes.

Year 2 I was so excited to find a meetup in my area (finally)! I was so passionate about it that my pastor let me speak at a women’s event to invite everyone at our church to come. But the lady hosting cancelled her meetup, disappointing the whole 3 of us in a 100 mile radius who signed up. I told my pastor about it and she gracefully hosted a meetup for me. I was excited again, until no one I invited showed any interest in coming. But a few older women from our church did come…unfortunately they didn’t “get it”. In fact, I overheard a couple of them making fun of a few things and well, it broke my sensitive spirit. I felt alone in my ministry heart and discouraged.

Year 3 I signed up because I love (in)RL and believe in it. I wasn’t surprised to find there are NO meetups anywhere close to where I live. And my spirit is too sore to host and have no one show up “get it” again. So I use the excuses I have. It’s the week of my birthday. We’re in between churches. My family will be too inconvenienced if I host. etc. etc.

But the truth is, my spirit is broken.

I love my friends. I love my old church. And I already love my new church. So I have hope. But with hope isn’t coming courage – at least not anytime soon.

So I’ll be (in)RLing (hey, a new word!) by “myself” again this year as I find time in between hubbie working extra hours, resurfacing our back deck, playing with 2 kids, picking up clothes at a consignment sale and a big family birthday dinner.

If you can take one thing out of this, please take this: Be sensitive to the things people are passionate about, even if you don’t get it. Your words are powerful whether they’re positive or negative. Your attitude speaks louder than words. If you care about someone, take a chance on them and the things they’re excited about. Support their music. Read their blog posts. Listen to their 100th story about their new baby. Tell them you’re praying for their event. etc. etc. etc.

Be a friend, step out of your comfort excuses.

Comments (3)

  1. Just an update – after posting this a friend reached out to me and offered to discuss the videos after this weekend is over. I’m so grateful for her and look forward to sharing (in)RL with new and old friends alike 🙂 The videos are free to watch and begin today – I’d love for you to join us in watching alone but discussing together. Get a free login:

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